Misc. Ideas
by Suekeiichi Kaiton
Summary: Please, please review! 4/15/02 Added second chapter of Dark Knight and revised Dark Knight. 4/6/02 Added another idea
1. Nexus

---Nexus---

---Nechiezu Amazon Village---

Slumping in through the village gates, a motley trio of characters entered. Two were portly men with old faces and beady eyes, at least Genma's would have been if he were not a panda; the third was a buxom red-haired girl. The panda went rushing in ahead, the Jusenkyo guide chasing wildly after him, screaming about troubles and tournaments; the girl walked slowly in, knowing full well what kind of trouble awaited them in the amazon town. Next.

The sentries were as they were before, two busty women chatting about the championship being held inside. They hazarded a brief glance in her direction as she past, sniffing disdainfully at the barbarian' woman. A wry smile split the emotionless façade she had erected, if they only knew what would soon transpire they would have turned tail and run, either that or gathered weapons for the villagers around the challenge log. The sun was high in the sky, the misty mountains a shimmering mirage in the mass of heat lines boiling off the rock-strewn road, even so the red-haired stranger did not sweat a drop. Hefting a pack a least three times her own weight easily, Ranma Saotome plodded off to kick her father for eating the championship prize she already knew the fat man was devouring. Sure enough, a hulking brute of a woman went sailing over the village walls by one quick thrust of a bon-bori. Next.

Genma ignored the mousy guide as he sank long panda-teeth into a succulent roast of pig and inhaled a serving dish of pork buns as Ranma entered the village square. Little more than a dirt clearing, hardly in the centre of the town even, Ranma set her pack down and readjusted her gi over the fleshy orbs that bounced on her front. It was exactly as she remembered, Shampoo's hair was just falling from her bun, a signal for her to leap and throttle Genma as she saw her prize devoured, but Cologne was present this time (or perhaps he hadn't noticed her) sitting amid baskets across the suspended log. As the last lock of purple hair descended, Shampoo leapt from the log and landed poised with bon-bori to rip out Genma's entrails and feed them back to him. Next.

Ranma sped off and caught a multi-colored orb just as Genma launched off the bench and ran off into the countryside, another divergence. Looking unsure for the first time since they started the little adventure, Ranma patted the bon-bori against her calf as the girl rattled off some Chinese to the guide. Eyes went wide in the crowd as the steel mace conformed to his leg as if made from putty, the wrinkles and texture of the fabric molded into the hard metal. Laughing nervously, she through the mace behind her-where it shattered a wall and flew through a house- and tried to concentrate on the lavender-haired girl in front of her. Or made an effort to as the girl in question withdrew a short dagger from her bust and slashed her across the throat. Things weren't going as they should.

Shampoo turned her back as she took an offered cloth and wiped her dagger clean of blood. She found it quite odd as her finger was cut by the tip of the glinting metal as she slid it up the handle. The knife blade was bent all the way back and digging into her wrist. Screaming and throwing the weapon as if it were a snake, Shampoo threw her other bon-bori straight at the stranger. Ranma dodged and lunged at the girl only to be tackled by thirty armed women. "What the hell's your problem?!" [Gotta stay in character!]

"She say your panda cause great dishonor, sir. She say that only you defeat her can pay for lose of prize." The guide tapped out the leavings in the bowl of his pipe. Two paces behind him, Cologne did the same. "Other customer no here, you must fight or you die." The thirty women all were pressing various sharp points at her throat.

"I'minclined to agree."

With a sweeping gesture of her hand the women were knocked from her body and she bounded to the challenge log, the purple-haired Shampoo a step behind. As they mounted and stretched she gave the red-headed outsider a confident smirk, Shampoo was convinced she would prove to be the victor in this contest. Had Dowel not been the strongest, experienced amazon? Surviving three Musk attacks and killing over three squads of the hated Dragons? She had humbled even her, what could an outsider do? She growled at the girl as she fell into a basic kempo stance, her opponent thought that a bit too simplistic obviously and changed stratagems to a loose standing stance, hands at her sides as if she were not fit to fight a duel. I'll enjoy lopping off your foolish head, barbarian!!! Shampoo caught the barest glimpse of amusement in the woman's face and lunged forward, a curved sword glinting in the midday sun.

Cologne sat puffing on her pipe next to the Jusenkyo guide, rings of fragrant smoke collecting under the thatched awning of the Elder's house. The day had proved eventful after all, it wasn't every day an outsider came into the village with a panda, let alone fighting a duel with the new village champion. Her great-grand daughter would prove the victor in this battle she assumed.

Shampoo fell to the dirt ring surrounding the log with an excruciating thump of soft flesh and hard bone. The crowd started, goggle-eyed, as Ranma leapt down and let the referee name her the winner, the woman's striped shirt and black split skirt declaring her the arbitrator even if she did not admit it. She giggled as the crowd gave her a wide berth, the footfalls seeming like an earthquake and the crowd a forest of dead trees. It really was a shame things didn't work out so well this time, all the random elements had screwed her over royally this time, that was precisely the moment Cologne took to step in front of her. "Where do you think you're going?" That was all the warning she got before her staff appeared out of nowhere and rapped her over the head. Conditioner! Sugar! Take Shampoo to her bed! I'll accompany this outsider girl to the prisons!

---Considerably later---

Ranma awoke with a start, stripped down to her birthday suit and still a girl, bound to the wall of crude cell. By the shaft of moonlight she had slept half the day away, and night had fallen on the town she thought he knew so well. Clanking keys and the whine of ungreased hinges startled her view to the door, where Cologne and two other girls walked solemnly in.

"So you are awake. Good, then we can get this over with tonight. You," she pointed towards her cell with her gnarled staff, "have defeated an amazon, as an outsider you will be killed tomorrow morning. My Shampoo, the girl you defeated, will personally cut off your foul, barbarian head." Cologne spat on the floor in front of her and walked out, gesturing to the two guards.

One girl was pretty if not for the sneering scowl she directed to her, the other was slight but well-built, thin but muscular. She seemed uncertain of her steps and relied on the other for support. The shorter one was younger, fifteen or so, and the tall one was around twenty, both seemed dissatisfied with guard duty.

I just had to be picked for guard duty, didn't I? Sugar sighed and fell to a bench, pulling down her non-existent dress and crossing her legs. As she didn't know that Ranma was really a man cursed, she could be forgiven for showing Ranma (female) a flash of pink. She looked away. Well, why did she pick you, Mei-Ling? The shorter woman sat down with a hand from the older, seemingly unsure of where the bench was.

My mother asked Elder Cologne to have me on guard tonight. She said that since I cannot be a warrior I may be a guard for already captured prisoners. Mei-Ling was blind, born that way and shunned by Amazons all her life. Born the daughter of a honorable warrior she was a disappointment to the tribe, but her mother and family remained loving and caring towards her, helping her find other tasks to aid the tribe. As an apprentice healer she was assisted by many of the learning warriors, eager to learn a few tricks of the healing trade. It was always important on the battlefield for warriors to know simple poultices and healing herbs.

The chains were loose, long enough to reach the front of the cell and run his hands along the bars. Cold wind poured through the window and chilled his nude form. The least they could do was give him a sheet or something. "Umcould I have some water?" The pair glared at him turned her and he shut his mouth. "Please?"

What is he saying? Stupid barbarians can't even speak Chinese! Sugar through a stray rock through the bars. She walked sultrily to his bars. What do you want? You're going to die at dawn, why don't you just curl up and enjoy your last night of life?

Be quiet Sugar! The ignorant girl just wants some water. She heard the dry heaving in the prisoner's throat. Sugar helped her dip a ladle and hold the water out to the girl. To be a compassionate healer one must have concern for all who suffer, even if they are enemies. The girl inside seemed unsatisfied and looked with pleading eyes at the healer.

"_Hot_ water, hot." She blew on the ladle, pretending to suck a burnt finger. "I'd like some hot wateras a last request." The girl gazed at her funny with milk-white eyes. Sugar pulled her aside and sat her back down on the bench.

I understand what she wants, she wants some tea. I'll go and get it, you stay here. If you hear anything out of the ordinary, scream and I'll come running. Okay? Sugar left the girl with a smile and bolted the door from the outside as she left. Mei-Ling was left sitting on the bench, having the distinct feeling that the prisoner had purposely wanted her alone.

Have you been blind since birth? The woman's perfectly articulated Chinese wafted across her ears, the accented syllables pounding against her eardrums. She shot up with a tonfa held in her shaky hand.

Since when could you speak Chinese? Why didn't you just ask for tea in Chinese, hmm? She uneasily felt her way to the bars and stumbled her way to the cell door. Warm hands gripped her fingers as Ranma held the bowl of the ladle in his other. Using her ki to warm the water, she grasped Mei-Ling's tonfa and wrenched it out of her grip. Hey! Give that back foul pig!

Ranma splashed himself with the hot water and returned to his normal, albeit naked, male self. Who's a foul pig? Mei-Ling screamed as her other hand snaked inside the bars and grasped a ratheroblong object to confirm the speaker was male. Ranma dropped her tonfa as she continued to howl and bang on the door, the door was locked from the outside of course. Ranma stood back from the bars, embarrassed because of his nudity and the way he had introduced himself. Soon enough Sugar's footfalls could be heard as she and several other Amazons, shampoo included, bounded off to assist their blind kinswoman. With no time to spare, Shampoo kicked in the door and left it to fall with a resounding thud to the floor.

What's the problem!? Sugar and Shampoo flanked the entrance as Mei-Ling screamed and ran out the door, tripping on a bucket near the well and knocking herself into unconsciousness. Where's the outsider!? WHAT!?!?! Who's this naked man in the cell!? Sugar and quite a few others were far too busy admiring his nude body to respond.

[Time to end the charade] He ripped the chains from the stone wall and pulled his clothes from sub-space, dressing with speed born from the Katsu Tenshin Amaguriken, and tore the bars away from his cell. Shampoo goggled at his powers, her jaw still held tightly together by a massive line of gauze, then glomped him in a manner proper for an Amazon champion. "Husband/Airen!" She kissed him once behind the ear and slowly dragged her lips across his flesh until her ruby pair clamped firmly on his own.


	2. Blackadder 1/2 - This fic may be hazardo...

---Blackadder 1/2---

(To be filed under crossovers that should never be written)

---There are many tales of the BlackAdder', the individual who has always been at the centre of English politics. However, before now, the tale of his illegitimate Japanese son has never been told. Born as Major BlackAdder boffed a Japanese teen during the Korean War, the bastard son's tale has never been told. Now, for the first time, the adventures of Ranma Saotome can be told in their full, steamy entirety. These are the stories of The BlackAdder's illegitimate son — Ranma Saotome.---

Sasuke and his master Ranma were walking down the street near the Nekohanten. "Sir, why don't you stop here for some food instead of going all the way to Ucchan's?" Sasuke pulled on Ranma's shirtsleeve.

"Aside from the obvious? Because if Ucchan finds out I've slept with Shampoothan I'll die!" He stuttered out the phrase while paling noticeably.

"Then why don't you just come clean, sir?"

"Are you serious?" Ranma cocked an eyebrow up at his retainer.

"Yes, sir." He furiously nodded his head.

"You do realize what this means, don't you Sasuke?" Ranma turned to his retainer.

"No, what, master?" Sasuke looked up at his master as they walked in front of the Nekohanten.

"That you are the stupidest clod in the history of stupidity-stupid clumps of steaming clods."

"Why thank you my Lord, it's the first time you've ever complimented my intelligence." They began to walk inside.

"I'm sorry, I promise it won't happen again."

"Right sir, I'll try not to use such a big word again either, sir."

"What word?"

"Complimentatana"

"Just shut up, Sasuke, I don't think your mind can handle such an abstract concept as a past-tense adjectiveyou see if God wished chimpanzees to speak he would have made you bipedal."

"Bisexual, my Lord?" Ranma rolled his eyes and refrained from slapping Sasuke on the back of the head.

"Noyou see, we humans walk on two feet and you lope about on all fours."

"I didn't know you played golf, sir."

"What?"

"Well you said fores', sir, so I'm waiting for the balls to drop."

Ranma wrapped his hands around Sasuke's neck. "What in the name of his-holiness-the-Archbishop of Canterbury's-nattering-buggering-half-headed-old-aunt are you talking about?"

"What?" He croaked.

"I said, what are you talking about?' or shall I perform it in Swahili so that you can understand?"

"I'm sorry sir, but you just confused me with the bowliness-the-dishy-shop-of can-of-berries-bugging-head-of-an-ant." Ranma sighed and reluctantly let go of Sasuke's larynx.

"Yes, yes, I'll try to refrain from using multi-syllabic words from now on."

"Multi-what?" Ranma lashed out and decked Sasuke across the restaurant.

"Just forget it, let's just get on with this hideous charade of good natured banter."

Shampoo ran from the kitchen and glomped onto Ranma's arm. "How are you doing today airen?"

"Oh just fine, Shampoo, despite the appearance of you two utter gits in my way, my day has just gone swimmingly. I'm thinking of shoving an enormous sausage down my trousers, leaping into a convent and doing an impressive imitation of the naughty vicar of Dibley." He sneered and laughed derisively.

"Oh you are in a good mood today airen." She began slowly kissing her way up his arm, licking his neck.

Sasuke feebly rose from the wreckage of the table. "No he isn't, he just hit me, Lady Shampoo."

Ranma kindly undid his shirt to allow Shampoo easier access. "Shut up, Sasuke, I'm trying to get boffed here."

"I'm sorry sir, shall I fall into a puddle by the side of the street and wait for you to drown me?"

"An excellent idea, Sasuke! Why look over there, I think I see a pink elephant with a fruit basket bearing your name!" He pointed dramatically behind him.

"Really? Where, my Lord?" Sasuke turned around in a circle.

"Here." Ranma decked him again.

"Ow!"

Shampoo began to unbutton her blouse. "Oh! My Lord you're so strong and handsome today!"

"Well, yes I know. It's not always that I meet a woman with a bosom so enormous that her nipples stick out like two bigthings that stick out."

"Oh you are a flatterer, aren't you! Still, it's hard for a woman these days to get decent respect."

"Yes I'm sure that behind your voluminous cleavage you have hidden a jewel of a mind just waiting to be polished. I can't imagine how anyone couldn't see the brain behind the knockers that hit you in the face every time you take in a breath. It amazes me that some people in this world can't see past the albeit delicious naughty bits and examine the brilliant mind behind the breasts." They walked upstairs and into her bedroom.

"Yes, yes, these puppies are a blessing and a curse." She bared her bosom for Ranma to see.

"Well, I think that I must be going now, pity I can't stay and listen to your sobbing, simpering litany any longer but pressing matters are pressuring me like a wily stoat up a hippopotamus' bottom. And it doesn't help that you speak pidgin." He finished off Shampoo and shrugged back on his shirt. "Sasuke?"

"Yes, my Lord?" A hand arose from the remains of the wall.

"Run into my fist please."

"Yes, sir." The little ninja ran straight into Ranma's fist and rebounded down the stairs.

"Very obliging, Sasuke. I don't think that I've had a better time since Kasumi was feeling adventurous, brought out the chains and leathers, licked her lips and said Hello Sailor'."

"That's very nice to hear, my Lord."

Suddenly Tatewaki Kuno appeared in the doorway. "Saotome! I just had the most smashing idea!"

"Oh, and what is that, Kuno?"

"That we hide underneath the dojo and hoard biscuits until your father parents a baby panda." Kuno was violently expelled by the stench of Sasuke running up the stairs and knocking him out the window.

"My Lord, your mother had called you to her home."

"GreatI have to thank you, Sasuke, you have just made my day. After I won the lotto and took advantage of all three Tendo sisters, Ukyo, Shampoo along with Yuka and Sayuri; you come along and give me the single greatest piece of news I have ever heard in my life." Ranma frowned, as the verdict of death pronounced by his mother didn't strike him as a good idea. "Oh, Sasuke, the grave opens before me like a bighole in the ground."

"Forgive me, sir, but Ihave a cunning plan."

"I'm sorry, Sasuke, but your words don't encourage a lot of faith after your last cunning plan'."

"Oh well that was just a-"

"Let us not forget when you wandered into a hot spring, walked into the woman's section, pulled down your britches and killed all the guests. This was your cunning plan' to get us in for free by scaring the guests and then popping up and offering to get rid of the intruders."

"But this one is really cunning."

"Is it as cunning as a fox that just ate Steven Hawking and absorbed all his genius then went on to Oxford to gain a doctorate in cunning plans so sharp you could brush your teeth with them?"

"Yes."

"Well let's hear it."

"We take you to your mother's house, wrap you up in a carpet and tell her that you turned into a carpet. She'll be so overcome with grief that she won't dream of killing you."

"Sasuke, that was the stupidest idea I have ever heard. You are a real clot now aren't you? You're just a poor pathetic sod with the brain cells of an amoebae and the genitalia of sterile ant whose parents called him Winky'."

"It's funny you should say that, my Lord, because I have a pigeon named Winky."

"Sadly, Sasuke, I'm afraid Winky has slipped bets and up and joined the choir invisible."

"You mean?"

"Yes, I'm afraid that Winky was a poor excuse for a pigeon but a good excuse to sharpen the carving set. I ate Winky yesterday for lunch. I saved you his wishbone." He pulled said object from his pocket.

"Why thank you generous master!" Sasuke snapped the bone in two.

"What did you wish for?"

"Another Winky." Ranma sighed and punched his fist through the wall.

"Yes, I see that your brain's sole purpose in your head is a cheap alternative to sawdust. You know, sometimes I wonder why I put up with you, Sasuke"

"But you don't, master. I belong to Master Kuno."

"So why are you following me like some sort of homeless dog whose family was massacred by dog-eating ostriches and eaten by a malingering git?"

"Would you like the short answer or the long one?"

"Short, preferably."

"Whim, my Lord."

"And, just for curiosity's sake, what was the long answer?"

"It was a whim, sir."

"Thank you, Sasuke, now get out of here and go suck your thumb somewhere else." He jerked his thumb out the window.

"Alright, goodbye Master Saotome!" The midget ninja waved goodbye and leapt out the window.

"Goodbye Sasuke, if we ever meet again it will be thousands of years too early." Ranma winked once at Shampoo and left out the door for the Tendo Dojo.

---To not be continued (Thank God!)---


	3. WoT-Gaiden

---WoT Idea---

The Wheel of Time turns, and ages come and pass, making events that become legend. Legend becomes myth, myth becomes legend. In the Third age, an age yet to come, an age long past; a wind arose in a small alley next to the Nekohanten. The wind was not the beginning, for there are neither beginnings nor ends to the Wheel of Time but it was a beginning.

Flyers spun in endless rotations through the breeze, paper wafting out into the street. A whining roar began in the alley, an ear-piercing scream following sometime thereafter. The air began to shimmer in the centre of the small row, the fabric of reality beginning to shift and twist around a certain incoming occupant and reality shimmered with color, formless mutations and runes of power blinking in the midday sun. It so happened that the flashing lights and shrieking cries alerted a certain martial artist to the dank alley.

Ranma shuffled wearily along the sidewalk. Dark circles sat underneath bloodshot eyes, his mouth twisted into a black grimace as his lifeblood dripped from his open sleeve, a steady trickle of crimson spattering to the concrete. With a slight groan he slit his wrist anew, curing his regenerative properties for forcing his torture, he simply wanted to diethat was all but his damn body refused to wound. He would slit his wrists, red blood spurting out for only a moment, before the flesh re-knit and the flow ebbed. He had left a trail of crimson from his hollow house to the Nekohanten where he planned on dying. In his eyes only Cologne could kill him, but even that could be a vain hope as he had surpassed her fighting prowess several years before.

Akane was dead, had been for several years and his life was at best a living hell without her. Breast cancer has taken her and without her light he was lost in the darkness. After five long years he was ready to join her. 5 Years, equal to the years they had been together, of loneliness and depression had taken their toll on his body. He was unshaven and dirty, his muscles out of shape. Strangely enough his ki remained the same, he surmised that they would remain the same forever, and it was to that that he attributed his physical youth. Now he cursed his indecision in marriage, they could have had twenty five years of betrothed bliss, instead they had wasted their youth.

Now as he neared his destination he felt the glorious release of death on the threshold. He sighed in ecstasy as the darkness ate away at the edges of his vision, but his arm still needed that last slash. A woman screamed across the street, clutching her daughter to her side, and Ranma stumbled into the nearby alley to finish his death. It seemed funny to him in the mad delusions of blood loss that now he didn't need Cologne at all.

Moiraine Damodred fell out of the portal only to smash against Ranma's hard chest, knocking them both to the cement. The Aes Sendai of the Blue Ajah awoke to find herself not in Caemlyn where Lanfeare and Ranma had appeared, but rather in a strange land atop an older man bleeding into the gutter. The sky was strange and the buildings around her made of alien materials, her head spun as she tried to embrace the One Power only to have it slip through her fingers like crude oil, the remnants of the power at least re-energizing her frazzled mind. She sensed the waves of anguish washing over the drying man's body, could taste the coppery tang of blood in her mouth. The man wore the mask of Death.

Ranma's wound had healed in the meantime, the only evidence of his suicidal attempt a bright smear of red down his arm. Already his system had begun to replenish his life force, the pints of blood lost swiftly replaced as the battered Aes Sendai lifted his head. Flutteringly Ranma's eyes opened to behold an angelic face framed by golden sunlight.

"AmI in heaven?"

"Shhno not yet" Moiraine's ageless Aes Sendai face was gone, washed away by the ter-angreal archway, and in it's stead was placed a truly youthful visage of perhaps only twenty summers.

"Whowho are you girl?" Ranma's bloody hand brushed a lock of brown hair from her face, leaving a smear of ruby fluid upon her forehead. "Leave me alone girl, it's better this way."

"Shhbe silent Gaiden" Truly she could barely stand herself. Already she could sense the encroaching wave of loss from her cauterized bond to Lan al'Mandragoran and at the same time could tell the man underneath her had lost his bond as well. She wouldn't suffer through it, at least not alone.

The One Power suffused her body, the bliss of power filling her every pore, the wave was sweet like honeysuckle and tempted her to draw more. The glow surrounded her body, her clothes clean and crisp once again, and soon the aura concentrated into her palms and seeped into ranma. He felt the power flooding his mind, covering every brain cell in an envelope of power, power which overrode his pain and depression. His eyes opened wide, his breath came in short gasps as his ki battled the invading energy but ultimately faltered, leaving his system to adapt. His body was changed, more lean, more muscular, his power level soared as the bond took hold.

Moiraine's eyes drooped as the power fled and she fell forward into his arms. Ranma arose in a single movement and clasped her body to his chest. As if some door had been opened in his mind he felt other emotions in his head; and almost maternal instinct overriding his self-destructive tendencies; he could simultaneously feel the sensation of his fingers on her skin and also the feeling of fingers on his skin. He sensed her exhaustion and confusion, and also her proximity to his body. [Whoever the hell she is, she had some explaining to do]

With that he leapt to the rooftops.

---Saotome Home---

Moiraine awoke to the plush feel of soft bedding, a light quilt spread over her torso as she lay on Ranma's couch. She looked around at the strange walls, portraits clearer and more lifelike than any she had ever beheld staring back at her in vivid color, before rising and letting the silken blanket flutter to the floor. Idly she realized she was nude, a bright splash of crimson coloring her cheeks in naïve embarrassment. The room was dark, which meant many hours had passed since she had appeared in the strange land.

One Power swirled through the air around her, she could feel the flows of power and light coursing through the walls of the building, each small mote of light regenerating her stunned senses. She drew in the energy, stunned when she was jolted with life force far surpassing what she would safely draw before. And yet, even then Moiraine felt a faint tug at her body, as if the power was being partially drawn from her! Suddenly her actions came back to her and she felt the bond flare in response.

Light arose behind her, without the telltale draw of power or slow approach of torch yet she still drew from the Source in self-defense.

"Hello. It's nice to see you up and about." Ranma stood leaning against the doorframe, a thin sheet wrapped around his waist. He had just been drawing ki, so rivulets of sweat rolled down his chest. "Now would you tell me who you are? And what you did to me, girl?"

Moiraine immediately became defensive, years of Aes Sendai experience coming to the surface. "Who are you calling 'girl', Gaiden? I am Moiraine Damodred Aes Sendai, you will address me with the proper respect!"

"Listen girl, I was living longer before your mother ever thought of conceiving you, if anything you differ to me! Name's Ranma Saotome."

"How dare you address me like that!" Moiraine wove a shield spell around him, the One Power wrapped tightly around him - immobilizing and invisible. "I won't hesitate to cast a Compulsion on you if you don't start behaving as befits a warder." Normally Compulsion was reserved for only the most unruly of warders, otherwise it was an unlawful spell punishable by death.

"I want some answers, girl, your little force-field isn't gonna work!" Ranma passed through it easily and grabbed one of her arms, hauling her up off the couch. Apparently her nudity didn't bother her.

"Stop this at once, warder!" Moiraine had no intention of carrying on a physical relationship with her warder, few Aes Sendai did save those of the green Ajah. "Wait outside until I dress!" Never in all her years had Moiraine met such a man!

"Tch! Fine!" Ranma roughly let her fall to the floor, her slim legs spreading slightly as she landed on her rump. "A helluva time for modesty, though, might as well have a sign marked 'exhibitionist'!" Never the less he did take a quick gander between her legs and was pleased by what he saw. No sooner had her eyes followed his gaze than her legs snapped shut and she launched a fireball at his chest, one which blew him through the wall behind him and into the guest room.

"Now listen here, girl!" Ranma growled as he pulled himself from the rubble. "I'm not in the mood for your pathetic ki abilities!" He shielded her with his ki and thew her roughly into a chair. "Now get dressed and get out!" He could sense her anger, taste the bitterness of her hatred on his tongue. Ranma decided to test this newfound ability and projected an image of himself and Moiraine engaged in conjugal activities with a can of whipped cream and a twelve inch dildo.

To say the results were explosive would be an understatement. Moiraine had first colored crimson, than went deathly pale, then to an angry red. Utilizing every Aes Sendai calming technique she knew, her composure was kept and the annoying man was pushed from the room with a simple weave of air.

With him out of the way, Moiraine found her clothes draped over a chair, clean and neatly folded. She absently noted a pair of unfamiliar smallclothes tucked underneath - made from a fabric immensely soft but stitched so elegantly that they did nothing for her modesty. Still, she did find the cups for her breasts a great comfort and grudgingly wore the unfamiliar underclothing. After dressing, she decided to open the curtain at the far end of the room to see where she wasshe was shocked at the view below her.

Buildings, more elegant and taller than anything the Ogier ever created stretching far into the distance as far as the eye could see. A black shadow moved swiftly through the night sky, Moiraine assumed it was a dakkar until she was it fly closer. It was made of metal! Had she traveled beyond the threshold of her world? It was possible with the ter-angreal and the backlash of her powers mixed with Lanfeare's, it was entirely possible that she was in a different part of the pattern! She absently noted that Ranma had reappeared in the doorway.

"You're in Nerima, Tokyo. You're not from around here are you?" His hand fell on her shoulder and gave it a comforting squeeze.

"Is that across the ocean?" Moiraine was shaken by what she saw, if she was in a different part of the pattern than she would be useless to Rand.

"It's across the Pacific from the United States. Where did you come from, girl?" He urged her back into the room and sat her down on the couch. "You appeared out of nowhere, do something to my body that I can't explain and try to burn down my house. I think it's time you explain." Moiraine looked down at her clothes and wondered why she was so nervous, she hadn't been nervous since Suian Sanche and she had loosed spiders in the Accepted's bedchambers. Why was her body reacting in these ways to the man, he was her Warder! Sh ewas in command of the relationship. Perhaps all those years of Lan al'Mandragoran spoiled her against the more unruly Gaiden.

"I am Moiraine Damodred, Aes Sendai of the Blue Ajah. I come from the White Tower of Tar Valon, a hand of the Amarylin Seat, and have been given the mission to track down and protect the Dragon." Ranma snorted.

"Figuresyou're from another dimension aren't you?" She blinked.

"Uhyes I am." Why did that infernal man's eyes weigh on her mind? Why did she feel the stirrings of desire after thirty years? "I was hurled through a ter-angreal in Caemylin and found myself with you."

"I don't get what you're saying, but you saved my life."

"It was the least I could do, you were bleeding very badly."

"No, no," Ranma raised his hand to silence her, "you saved my mind as well as my body." He leaned forward until their faces barely touched one another, she could smell the musky odor of his dried sweat drawing off his body. "I guess I should thank you"

She opened and closed her mouth a few times before any words came out. "I must apologize to you, Ranma Saotome, because of what I did you are now bonded to me until death." To put it bluntly, Moiraine just blurted it out of her guilty conscience and waited for his reaction. "I am very sorry for doing this to you."

"I guess this means I can't kill myself, huh?" Ranma leaned back and stretched.


	4. Transmetal 2 Ranma

---Transmetal 2 Ranma---

"Recently they crossed into China."

"Oh! China!"

"So what?"

"Umwhat is this 'Ranma' like, father?" Soun Tendo looked back at his three girls.

"No idea." A cicada chirped in the backyard.

"You have no idea?" Nabiki groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose as her sisters shook their heads in disgust. Just then powerful heavy footfalls echoed from the front steps followed by a muffled yelp of pain. Her bowl cut spun into her face as all heads turned to the hallway as mechanical sounding whirs rebounded off the walls and tables, ringing the sweet tone of porcelain vases. Gears ground as the hiss of hydraulic joints was followed by the rumbling stomp of a weighty foot.

"Is anyone home?" A fat martial artist flew through the air and landed on the table, shattering it's legs and causing the Tendos to quickly retract their legs and scatter in fear. "Hello?"

Nabiki Tendo looked up at the 5'8 thing that stamped into their house and met her own eyes mirrored in the silver visor of the armored thing. The creature was an odd amalgamation of round chrome and red/black flat shielding that enclosed its body. The plating was dirty and dented, scratched and scorched, as the thing's hinged manipulators dug into the bunched fabric of Genma's gi and lifted his screaming body up and out into the koi pond. A furry panda surfaced, sputtering water like a broken jug.

The creature of metal sat down on the porch and with the clattering of plastic and whir of rusty gears crossed it's legs in a meditative position. Kasumi reappeared from the kitchen with a copper kettle of boiling water and a pot of tea. Oblivious to the fearful stares of her family, Kasumi nudged past Nabiki and knelt next to the bored looking automaton.

"Would you like some tea, Mr. Robot?" The sun glinted off the faded chrome of its faceplate as the neck turned with a clicking whir. Behind the mirrored visor Nabiki could swear she saw eyes blink in astonishment.

"Yes, please." The voice was rich with life, the timbre free of the defects that mechanical speech usually brought. Kasumi smiled and poured the tea, handing the cup into shiny digits with rubber fingerprints. Soun and Akane had already fled; Nabiki, meanwhile, watched in fascination as the protruding square block over it's (presumed) mouth came down with it's chin and swallowed the fluid in a single gulp. The animated reaction to the tea's heat convinced Nabiki that a living creature was hidden within the overlapping plates. Her eyes narrowed as she became driven to discover the secret of the mechanical man.

---Later---

"Hey Kasumi, where's Mr. Robot?" Nabiki parted the curtain leading into the kitchen and saw her eldest sister stirring a pot, steam wafting out through the window opened above. Kasumi turned to look suspiciously at her sister, sipping a sample of her broth.

"I think he wanted to use the bath, something about 'repairing his interior motivators'."

"Okay, thanks." Nabiki dashed up the stairs and slid past the ajar bathroom doors, the 'occupied' sign clearly posted for all to see. She didn't care, she wanted to know exactly who was beneath the armor of that thing. It had just plunked itself into the house and didn't speak to anyone except Kasumi. Robots generally don't walk into a stranger's house and make themselves at home.

The anteroom was steamy and the door leading into the bathroom was open just a speck. In the haze of the light, Nabiki made out two dark objects lying on the washing machine, the gentle swish of water rattling the metal objects. The metal slab on her left was a weapon with a sleek thin barrel, the other a shield, each etched with circuitry and extremely heavy regardless of it's plastic resemblance. The gun had telescopic crosshairs and a jutting clip filled with a pulsing purple light. Giggling at the technology and the uses she could think of, Nabiki detached the gun clip and slid the light flask into her pant's pocket.

Looking through the crack, Nabiki watched as a perfectly normal looking Japanese boy stood up naked from the furo. Her mind promptly shut down.

---Later---

"And so ends our tale of woe." Genma sat back down next to Soun and reached for a cracker in the middle of the table. Ranma was sitting innocently by the porch, showing no signs that the explanation was either true or false. If his father wanted him to keep his secret he would until it was necessary to divulge that information. Nabiki was lying on the floor with a cold compress placed on her forehead by Kasumi. Akane was simply frowning at Ranma. She didn't swallow a word of this Jusenkyo crap. "Tendo I think it's time we have Ranma pick." Genma slapped his friend on the shoulder to bring him back to reality and pointed a thumb at his 'son's' sitting form.

"Indeed. Ranma these are my daughters, Kasumi, Nabiki, and Akane, pick whichever one you want and she'll be your fiancée." Ranma was moving before Soun finished, ripping his shirt off and twisting it until it became a pistol. Without a second thought the boy pulled the triggeronly to have nothing happen. After hitting the weapon he checked the clip and found it empty. Mumbling to himself, Ranma checked all his pockets for another clip as the Tendos sweatdropped.

"DIE MAXIMAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!" A cry came from the heavens as flaming death descended on the compound. Ranma pulled off his pants to form his shield and threw another clip from his thigh chamber into his fusion cannon. The silvery round disk spared the home from the plasma burst and three well placed shots dropped the Predacon into the koi pond.

As the Tendos dove for cover for the second time that day, well except for Nabiki because she was still out cold, Genma took the opportunity to scramble away lest he incur his son's wrath. The pigtailed boy snorted in amusement as the Predacon drone attempted to get out of the water. He was clothed again as both attachments had served their purposes and kicked the drone's empty brain-casing over the compound walls. Drones had no spark. "Ah for bootin' up cold!! They already found me!" He reached down into the mass of jumbled wires and pulled a communication transmitter from the robot's hand. He knew exactly where the drone had come from, the 'Phoenix Drones' had apparently followed him from China. He activated the beacon.

"Operative SAFFRON-98, have you completed your mission?" The voice that replied was somewhat garbled because of the distance but was just as malevolent as Ranma remembered, a cold voice like an old man's harsh and wheezing. A single yellow eye appeared in the holographic transmission field. "Ohit is you, flesh-creature."

"When will you quit tryin' ta kill me!?" Ranma was still in human form mind you and the Predacon on the other side of the screen glowered even darker, the fact that he was communicating with a fleshling, regardless if it was a Transformer bonded with flesh, was in his minddistasteful.

"Logic dictates that I continue hunting you down until you cease to function. Until such a time my drones will continue coming until nothing is left of you but scrap, Maximal!" The eye blazed with azure Energon as it bared down on the inferior Transformer through the hologram. "The Tri-Predicus Council has empowered me to hunt your kind in this sector after the last debacle with Megatron. Logic states that my final duty as Procurator of Terra is overseeing your destruction."

"Ya, whatever, but I don't get a word you're saying." Ranma shrugged and stared back, unimpressed by the Predacon's bravado as he severed the connection.

---Elsewhere---

"Hunt him down, destroy his spark, do whatever it takes." A face broke out into a fanged smile. "You were created for this type of combat, RYOGA."

"Understood commander." RYOGA looked up from his spinning cerebral sword and licked his teeth. He could almost taste the Mech fluid already.

"Your transformation index has been altered to suit the power and brutality logic dictates must be used for this task." RYOGA transformed, the shadowed figure shifting it's durasteel plates until his legs swung upward and grafted to his chest, his arms and torso shifting as a thick tail sprouted from his back.

"I leave immediately." RYOGA sucked air in through his teeth, a raptor's eyesight was certainly better with the advantages of being Transmetal 2. He could feel the power in his body to crush the puny Maximal and bring his shorted-out corpse before his commander.

"Excellent. Shockwave out."


	5. The Mutant Gene

---Ranma: The Mutant Gene---

Based on Ultimate X-Men by Marvel comics and Ranma 1/2 from Viz.

Ranma awoke to the sunlight and looked beside him at the sleeping form of Akane. The blue-haired girl was curled on her side, her back to him, and stretched out with a yawn. He smiled as her slim arms wrapped around his neck and her soft lips met his. Ranma wrapped her exposed breasts under his arms and pulled her from the damp sheets, hauling her nude frame into his lap.

"Good morning, Ranma." She smiled and crossed her legs seductively over his, her tush pressed against his lap. "It was a wonderful night."

"Morning, Akane." He felt so good this morning, they had finally done it and he had no regrets. "Did you sleep well?" They kissed passionately and she pushed him down onto the pillows, her slight frame holding him down. His hands danced down her back, touching her nerve points and smoothing down to her bare ass as she tossed her head back and moaned.

Last night she had come into his room wearing nothing but a silky g-string and transparent bathrobe. His father was sleeping in the dojo, apparently Nabiki had grown tired of continually replacing their window every morning, and so Ranma was sleeping alone. Completely out of character for the normally violent and cold youngest Tendo, akane had pushed him back into the room and down to the futon. Ranma, being who he was, spaced out when she began pulling his boxers down with her teeth - not snapping from his trance until her warm mouth enveloped him.

He'd been holding back on his feelings for her for so long, that when she started he was powerless to help himself. Ever since Saffron and the failed wedding she had grown more distant, more cold towards him, and he'd almost given up hope for redemption. To have her coming into his room and initiating intercourse, it was enough to override Ranma's stunning danger awareness. After three couplings they had both fallen asleep and with the reassuring warmth of Akane's body in his arms he was able to sleep peacefully for the first time in several months. Now, post coitus, Ranma didn't regret his decision.

"Was it as good for you as it was for me?" Akane batted her eyelashes and pouted at him, waiting for his answer.

"It was the best, Akane-chan." He hugged her closer and nuzzled the nape of her neck.

"Better than the first time?" Ranma pulled away.

"What?" He held her away at arm's length. She smiled seductively and leaned over his stomach, her full breasts swinging enticingly with the movement.

"Was it better than the last time?"

"What do you mean?"

Akane snorted impatiently and pushed him back onto the futon with her hands. "Was last night better than the night before?" Ranma's brow furrowed in confusion and he pushed her away.

"What are you talking about, Akane? Last night was our first time!" He was on his feet before she could move, bouncing on the balls of his feet as she languidly tossed her suddenly long hair back and traced a fingernail up her thigh. "Whowho are you!?" His eyes narrowed.

"My, my, it seems the young man finally wised up to this illusion." Akane laughed heartily and brought her hand to her mouth, biting a nail between her teeth as Ranma took a defensive posture. "I knew all those times you snuck into her bedroom weren't for fuckingah well, live and learn."

"Who are you? What have you done with Akane?"

"If you mean that simpering little spastic, she's down the hall in her room. As for who I am" The woman stood with her legs spread apart, his fluids dripping from between them, and her body shifted deep blue. "I am Mystique, little one." The tall woman stalked closer to him, her midnight blue skin shiny in the sunlight as she grasped his wrist and flipped him out the window. "I had hoped to make this easier for the both of us, but it seems I'll have to do this the hard way."

Ranma landed on his feet and fired dual Moku Takabashi at the female mutant, twisting in the air and leaping to the roof of the dojo. Mystique flipped to dodge the projectiles and met him atop the clay shingles. He growled as the Tendos appeared in the garden and stared in slack-jawed disbelief at the spectacle of a naked Ranma fighting an equally nude blue woman. Nudity didn't seem to bother her as she pounced at him, her breasts heaving as her nails grew into foot-long talons. He broke from her with deep scratches down his left arm and nailed her square in the jaw with a ki blast.

"Take that! You're just another one of those demonic women, yeah well, it's exorcism time!" Ranma leapt back into the smokey cloud where his opponent had fallen and struck her again with a barrage of katsu-tenshin amaguriken. He darted back to the exploded wall of his room and slipped on a pair of pants. The hungry looks he'd been getting from Kasumi and Nabiki were beginning to freak him out

"Ah, ah! Little one, don't be covering up just yet, you and I still have a hundred more 'positions' to try out!" The blue-skinned mutant stepped into the room via the open hole in the wall and wiped a trail of blood from her lip.

"What the fuck do you want from me?" Ranma kicked her in the stomach as she leapt again at him, knocking her back out the hole as he threw on a torn shirt.

"I'm just here to help you, Ranma." Mystique crawled back, her body bleeding from various shallow cuts in her cobalt skin. "We have to get out of here."

"By seducing me and tricking me into sleeping with you!?" Ranma launched himself at her, both flying out of the house and back into the backyard. He was quite surprised when she began to block and retaliate, showing off more than a cursory knowledge of martial arts. "You're pretty good."

"I have to be." Her white eyes looked up at the skys and widened in terror. "It looks like our friends are already here." The cerulian teen leapt back and braced herself against the vicious winds cast by the landing automaton.

The massive hulk of purple chromium and red steel looked down at the scattering of human and mutant, a red ray erupting from it's soulless eyes. "TARGETS UNKNOWN. BEGINNING MUTANT SCAN." The flat laser swept over the Tendos and Genma first before moving on to Ranma and Mystique. "FOUR SUBJECTS FOUND TO BE CARRYING MUTANT GENES, PRCEEDING WITH ELIMINATION." The Sentinel stepped forward from the crater left for it's landing and stretched it's thick humanoid palm at the group of Tendos. "TWO MUTANT TARGETS AQUIRED, PROCEEDING ALONG MISSION PARAMETERS."

"What the hell is that thing?" Ranma fired a ki blast at the towering machine which succedded in nothing against the Sentinel's chromium plating.

"That is a Sentinel, a mutant killing machine. Japan is only the second country to implement this system, it was originally designed for the urban United States!" Mystique screamed as the turbines in the thing's arm began to whir, a pulse of light vomited forth from it's palm. "With Japan's history of genetic prejudice, it was only natural for the Diet to authorize their use!" Both teens jumped over the blast of fire and scattered to the far ends of the compound as the Tendos ran back inside the house.

"TARGET AQUIRED, ELIMINATION COMMENCING." The Sentinel reached down and slammed it's palm down atop Genma, leaving nothing but a red smear to note his passing. The elder Saotome, for all his cheap escapes and cowardice was unable to dodge the ten ton hand as it pulverized his body. Ranma screamed in outrage and loss as he scaled the thing's back and dug his fingers into the neck of the beast. "ATTENTION, THIS UNIT IS UNDER FIRE. REQUESTING BACKUP."

"You fucking monsters! You killed him! You just killed him!" Ranma tore the braincase of the android out and fire three ki blasts down it's shorting neck, melting the plating with the sheer heat of his anger. The Sentinel burst into flames and exploded, sending Ranma flying high into the sky.

The shape-shifting mutant teen poked her head out from a fallen leg and tried to recognize Ranma amid the hail of falling mechanical components. "Where is he? Was he killed?" The roar of supersonic jets tore through her ears as three coronas of exhaust ripped across the skys over Tokyo. A third of Japan's Sentinels were now at the scene, even with her clocking device, didn't like her odds. Shifting to an ordinary salary man, she leapt over the compound wall. As she was walking from the devestated scene, two more Sentinels stomped towards the Tendo Dojo by way of Nerima.

They had just finished destroying the Nekohanten and Ucchan's oknomiyaki.

"This is Mystique, I wasn't able to capture the mutant and am under heavy fire!" She pulled the cell phone from her ear as a loud shout nearly deafened her. "I need a pick up."

"Don't we all there, love, don't we all. The sodding bloke, Quickie just had a run in with our mechanical mates. We won't be able ta pick you up for a while, love." A lower-class English accent spat over the airwaves just before the call was terminated. She looked up at the heavens with middle-aged man's eyes and saw the three flying androids circling over the Tendo house. Suddenly twin beams of fire erupted from their palm lasers, annialating the Japanese home to nothing more than smoking ruins. Thinking about it, she didn't really think she'd miss her homeland that much now.

"NO!!!!" Her head whipped around at the voice, it couldn't be that he survived, could it? She scaled a nearby building and landed on the roof, retracting the scaling spikes from the soles of her feet as she did. Around her all was smoking and in ruins, five Sentinels closing in on the location to confirm the death of all mutants. In their mad quest to destroy mutants, the government was an accessory to murder. Only two of the four Tendos had been carrying the gene but all had been wiped out.

Suddenly a burst of light blinded her as a Sentinel exploded in mid-air, scattering chips of metal across the district. Mystique watched in morbid fascination as two Sentinels joined their brethren in oblivion as Ranma fired house-sized blasts of flame from his palms, melting the chromium and setting the machines ablaze in the morning sky. "Unbelievable! Four Sentinels with his bare hands!" The seventeen-year old flew swiftly to the pair of still-functioning droids and went through them in a blaze of red power, leaving massive holes in the Sentinel's chests before they exploded from failing structural integrity.

"Toad? Toad! Answer me!"

"What do ya want you bleeding cunt! We're kinda busy here with the Sentinels!" The caustic green-skinned mutant's voice came paniced through the line.

"The boy, the boy just destroyed six Sentinels with his bare hands!"

"What!? Bloody hell, and we're trying to get rid of two!"

"I need you to come and pick us up."

"We can't lass, boss' orders." She threw the communicator aside and cursed at the broken device. She reverted back into her true form.

Her blue skin was smooth except around her wrists and knees where there was a little scaling but nothing so rough as to impede gentle caresses. Her short crop of red hair was cut much like the former Nabiki Tendo's but with bangs that barely hid her white eyes. Trailing down her body, past her small but perk breasts and gold navel piercing (something that seemingly every mutant female had) she stood firmly on two strong, muscular legs. Her clothes consisted of a low-cut sleeveless blouse and tight running shorts. The cloaking device blinked on her wrist as she watched Ranma touch down in the smouldering Tendo home.

"Why?" Ranma fell to his knees and began to beat the earth with his fists, hot tears of anger spilling from his face as the charred and smoking remains of the Tendo family lay before him. The stench of burnign hair and flesh made his eyes water even more as he took the ashen and brittle corpse of Akane in his arms. "Why did this have to happen?" He embraced the burning husk and screamed up into the heavens.

Mystique entered as he broke down crying, slamming his fists into the floor and dirt ground underneath. "?"

"Shut up! This is all your fault! You brought them here!" Ranma tossed Akane away and tackled her to the ground, grasping her shoulders painfully and slamming her hard into the debris. "You brought them here, you tricked me!" Blood was beginning to drip from her mouth. She was about to black out when a hunk of chrome shot across the backyard and hit him hard, knocking him through what remained of a wall.

"Enough!" Magneto landed softly on the blackened floor, his arms folded across his chest in irritation. The Scarlet Witch and Toad helped Mystique onto a stretcher. "She did not call those thing here to kill these homo sapiens, you did."

"I'm not a fucking mutant! She is!" Ranma leapt at the cloaked man but was blasted through another wall with a simple turn of the Master of Magnetism's helmet.

"How you can be so bigotied against your own kindtruly this is the lower homo sapiens can achieve in their brainwashing of our kind. Come boy, you must take your rightful place among us homo superior."

"But you killed them, you killed my family and friends by drawing them here! I should kill you right now!" Ranma rose to his feet and flared his ki into a brilliant cloud of swirling colors, even Magneto was impressed.

"Mystique wears a cloaking device, boy, which decieves the Sentinels into thinking she is a normnal human. She could not have possible drawn them here, you did with your unprotected mutant genes." He regarded the enraged young man and gestured to Scarlet Witch. "Bring this young man a cloaking device and tell Toad to start the jet, we're going home."

"I ain't through with you yet, helmet guy!"

"But I am with you, boy." Magneto brought a Sentinel skull down over the surprised pig-tailed boy's body, rendering him unconscious immediately. "Put him under observation and clean him up, Quicksilver, I have plans for this boy." The Master of Magnetism flew upward into the sky and was gone. The Scarlet Witch dragged Ranma's unconscious body from the wreckage and took careful notice of the muscles and hardened body he exhibited.

"Save your examination until we get to the Savage Land, sister, there are still four more Sentinels operational in his land." Quicksilver helped his sister lift the boy and load him in the plane as Toad took off for the antarctic. "If father says he has plans for him, he must be extremely powerful."


	6. Dark Knight

---Dark Knight---

(Note: I have no idea how the Japanese police system is, so any titles like captain or commissioner may be incorrect, but what the hell do I care?)

"Criminals are cowards.

Criminals are superstitious.

I must strike fear.

Mom's dead.

Dad's dead.

'Kane's dead.

Ranma's dead.

I shall become a bat."

Graffiti scrawled in the basement of Furinkan High School

---

The night embraces me. The buildings wrap around to encircle me. The rain is a baptism, beating against my chest. I swing into the night, I run up a building, I protect my city - I live the darkness. I see the filth and corruption in the alleys of my haunt, my haunt becomes a haunt for slime, for the bags of shit that think they own it all. I will teach them. They must be taught that actions have consequences. They must learn.

I will learn them.

---

Hideki 'Scarface' Konbayashi leaned over his desk to stare down the sniveling sycophant trying his hardest to shrink into the chair across from him. His meaty fists lay heavily on the desk blotter and a document covered in red ink.

"Explain to me" The boss said as he leaned forward. The bald thin man across from him began to whimper. "Explain to me where all this yen disappeared to, and try not to exaggerate."

"The-the-the wh-warehouse where alls they money was gonna be held" Hideki's dirty cash had been stockpiled in a warehouse out on the pier through one of his import interests. Unfortunately, 'Scarface' Konbayashi hadn't a bank to launder it, so for months it moldered in the storehouse. "It got blown up big-time! Some weird c-creep in a black suit came up and - boom! The whole God-damn place went up in flames!" Scarface's knuckles whitened as he clenched his fists. His breath came in swift snorts and veins bulged grotesquely from his forehead. The man, Kensuke 'the Rat' Nezu, blanched as the door opened.

"Boss, the cops are here to see you - 'bout the house."

"Tell them I'll be right there. Offer them a drink." The door closed as the gunman shut the door and his footsteps faded back down the corridor. Scarface glared down at the Rat. "Get out of here, Rat, before the police get your stench. Go out the back door." The slight man scurried out the door. Unbeknownst to both men, a pair of powerful binoculars lowered on the rooftop behind them.

"Get out of this business." Konbayashi turned in surprise, his gun flashing black against the shadows, and caught a powerful blow to the jaw. He flew across the room and landed with a meaty smack against the wall, his certificates of legitimate business clattering to the floor. Rising with a hand to his bleeding lip, Konbayashi saw a scene that would forever be engraved in the canals of his brain.

A creature, a black thing from the darkness crouched on his windowsill. White reflective lenses glanced back at him from the depths of the black Lycra suit. A thick cape billowed as the extreme height of the window sucked air out from the room. The figure did not move so much as an inch.

"Who the fuck are you!? And What the fuck do you think you're doing tellin' me what I can do!?" He fired his gun fifteen times and he didn't continue pulling the trigger after his clip ran out, Konbayashi was a professional. The figure hadn't moved during the exchange. "So what you feel like with fifteen rounds of lead in your belly fucker?" He walked over to the still creature and lifted his leg back for a kick, expecting to throw the corpse off balance, but rather was unpleasantly surprised when a gloved hand reached out and crushed his testicles.

---

I savor his screams of pain and pleas for mercy. When did he stop when my mother begged him to stop raping her? Did he stop when my father's body began to cool? No, he sliced my father's entrails out of his stomach and hog-tied his waxen flesh with his own intestines. Did Akane's pleas for mercy stop him and his friends from violating her so many times that her vagina was torn up to her waist? Even after she died? And so I release some of the useless flesh in my hand and simply tear the crotch of his pants. He falls to the floor, clutching his groin as I casually drop the handful of bullets he so gladly fired at me.

"Tell me what I want to know and I might let you be able to have synthetic testicles. If you don'tlet's just say you won't have anything to put those silicone eggs in ever again."

He stopped screaming and begins to just whimper. I didn't break the skin, I just crushed, he won't bleed to death.

"Where is The Shark?" Touji 'The Shark' Kuroda. Kingpin of the Yakuza in the Nerima district, and regional boss of Tokyo. The little shit works for him, I should know, my informants are very fastidious about what they believeor else.

"I don't know!" He says. The endorphins must be hitting his brain about now. I can't allow that. I reach down and grab hold of his manhood, he immediately stills.

"I think you do. If you lie to me I rip a certain part of your anatomy off." I give a painful tug but not enough to rip. He seems scared now. Good, let him be.

"You do that you fucker and my men will kill you and cut you into pieces!" He's very stupid, it's a wonder he made it this far in the Yakuza. I tug again, harder. "Ah! You fucker let go!"

"Your men are otherwise engaged now. We'll be alone for a long time." He swallows at that tidbit of information. "Where is The Shark?"

"Ah! At his place up in the mountains, he's gonna be back tomorrow!"

"Where will he be?"

"He's got a big deal goin' down, he won't tell us anything!" I let him go and he collapses to the floor.

I stamp on his genitals on my way out.

---

"Hmmlooks like the 'Dark Knight' is getting a bit rough" A feminine outline against the moon sat high above Scarface's penthouse. In a suit that seemed painted on her body, Catwoman set her directional microphone down on the ledge and pulled off her binoculars. [I wonder how he is in bed?] She shivered.

"You shouldn't eavesdrop on other people's conversations." A black shape stepped out of the shadows cast from the air conditioning vent.

"Or what? Will you punish me?" She seductively slid her claws up her inner thigh, gasping exaggeratedly as it neared her crotch. She looked at him with an alluring grin. "Will you use your 'grappling hook'?"

"Enough of this. What were you doing here?"

"Ha! That's for me to know and you to find out!" She sprung back and fell off the rooftop, trailing her equipment behind her on the slow descent. Before he could react she was springing from the face of one building to the next until he lost her amid the skyscrapers of Tokyo.

"Curiosity killed the catbut satisfaction brought her back."

---

I bathe and dress like any other morning but it is not. Two years have passed already and Kasumi is still reeling from the event. Sometimes we try to talk about it but our talks always end in tears. I don't bring up tehs ubject much anymore.

The house is empty, the house is quiet. Soun Tendo is gone, mad from the death of his youngest daughter in such a way. Trigan Asylum has taken him off to a padded cell. I am sorry for that. I walk down to the kitchen to prepare breakfast and peek into Nabiki's room. She's off in the business world and college, only back for a few days, but it brings some life back to the house. The poor girl must be exhausted. Oddly enough I am not tired, rather invigorated by the freedom of my mask.

Kasumi is still asleep in her room. I decide not to wake her.

I pick the paper up off the stoop outside and scan the front page for news of my latest exploit. Ah. 'Crime lord Scarface Konbayashi brought into custody - police report an inside informant leaked information about illegal activities and homicide linked to Konbayashi.' Smiling I turn and spot Nabiki standing in the doorway in just her nightgown. The compound gates are closed so no one can see but

"Good morning Ranma." She says with a seductive smile, something about her eyes always aroused me but now all I see are Akane's eyes frozen in fear for all eternity. I must not forget my duty.

"Morning. Late night?"

"You could say that." She waltzed back inside. I don't understand how she managed to cope with her sister's death so easily, could her emotionless mask run so deep that's he is devoid of feelings? "Are you making breakfast?"

"Sure." I roll the paper in one hand and walk in after her, carefully not lingering my eyes on the smooth bareness of her ass or the tuft of brown hair visible between her legs. Tonight I will attack the weed at the root and show them who really owns this city.

Me.

But not without help.

---Nerima Police station---

"Captain Hidachi, get your ass in here!" Daisuke spit out his coffee as the commissioner's loud voice called from his office at the end of the hall. Daisuke Hidachi brushed the droplets of java from his suit and strolled up into Commissioner Syouichi Mori's office. Mori was sitting behind his desk as the captain walked in and leaned back, hands folded over his belly. From where Daisuke was standing it seemed as though his superior was poured into the seat, his massive girth wobbling with every breath.

"You called for me sir?"

"Yes, yes, I did." He took a sip of coffee from the mug sitting next to a demolished box of sweets. "What the hell do you think you're doing with this 'Bat' character!?" He threw the newspaper into the dark-haired captain's face. Hidachi caught it and opened to the front page, 'Police captain condones vigilante Dark Knight' emblazoned across the top. He folded it quietly as Mori steamed and placed it back on the desk. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I say that we wouldn't have been able to capture the Joker without Batman's help." Daisuke shuddered as he remembered the insane cackle and voice of the emaciated principal Kuno as he danced from gasoline silo to the next. Apparently his insanity and change in appearance were attributed to chemical exposure, of course anyone who had frequented Furinkan High School years ago would have known that Kodachi was behind the transformation.

"I don't give a frig about the Joker! You realize you've made our police department a laughingstock!?"

"But Batman-"

"Shut up, Hidachi, I don't want to hear anything more about some freak in spandex dancing around the city at night." Syouichi slammed a gooey fist on the table and pointed out the door. "Get out, Hidachi, you're suspended until further notice!" Daisuke solemnly walked out of the office and grabbed his jacket from his desk. Checking to make sure his gun was in the holster, he'd ordered it special from America, and that an auto-loader was clipped to his waist, Captain Hidachi strolled out of the station.

The sky was dark, it seemed rain was on the horizon. Daisuke got in his Honda and started her up, sitting back as the car idled in neutral. In a moment of thought, Daisuke put it in drive and sped off down the street towards the Tendo Dojo. If anyone would sympathize, he was sure Ranma would, especially given his wealthy friend's generous contribution to the station.

Ranma was wealthy now beyond belief, having so much money but at a cost no one should have paid. After the attack by the Yakuza on his parents and Akane as they walked home from the train station, he'd come into quite an inheritance. Apparently his mother had been loaded. Daisuke shook his head as he remembered how happy they'd been after graduation at the wedding, good times back then. After Akane had died, Soun had snapped and regressed into a hollow shell of what he had once been, deteriorating to the point that he had to be institutionalized. As such all the assets of the Tendo and Saotome families had fallen to Ranma. He was set for life with his mother's money, not to mention the millions the Saotome home had brought in - being in an expensive section of Tokyo with a grand plot - his friend was very well off he had to say.

And yet he still insisted on working or at least paying attention to the business world and his assets. On the Board of Directors for the Tokyo Bank and the Juuban General Hospital, Ranma kept himself busy with meetings and his positions afforded him a certain amount of pull. Daisuke was actually surprised Ranma hadn't pulled strings to get Nabiki involved in one of the projects or that Nabiki hadn't asked him to, well stranger things had happened.

It had begun to rain as he pulled up in front of the Tendo Compound. Daisuke threw on his coat and hat as he ran from the car to the front door. After three rings the door opened and Kasumi ushered him in with a smile. The normally vapid gaze of tehe ldest Tendo had waned with the passage of time and her eyes now shone with the true intelligence behind her beauty. The brown-haired woman walked him into the back extention where Ranma sat drinking tea in a leather recliner. His friend was wearing slate slacks and a white shirt and black sweater. They sat down for drinks which Kasumi graciously brought.

"What brings you here, Daisuke?" Ranma sat back in the new Tendo living room in a comfortable chair of black leather. "Trouble at work?"

"Suspended. It's because of the statement I made about the Batman." He took a long sip from his glass and held it out for a refill. "Commissioner Mori says I slandered the station."

"That's hardly an excuse to be suspended."

"Can't fight the system, though." Ranma refilled Daisuke's drink.

"NoI suppose you can't."

---

I watch Daisuke drink the liquor and relax, he deserves it after all. He sometimes comes here with Yuka on holidays and I can't say I mind the company. The house gets too cold with just Kasumi's stare and the ghosts of two years past. He leaves a few hours and a dozen drinks later but I don't worry about him driving - I believe in Daisuke.

Daisuke is my informant in the Police, he is my connection. As Batman he doesn't know me from Adam which doesn't bother me in the least. To him I'm just a rich friend he can come to and get drunk. I walk him to the car, the rain is coming down hard now, little needles piercing my clothes as he speeds away. Tonight I will hunt.

A storm is coming.

---Roof of Nerima Police station---

Daisuke stood near the edge of the roof, smoking a cigarette and flicking the burning ashes on the populace scurrying about under his feet. The rain had seemed to stop, at least for a little while, supposedly it was to return later, return like the withheld vengeance of a God. A chilled wind blew through his clothes.

"What if we wait here for hours and he doesn't show?" Hiroshi Honda, detective under Daisuke and friend since high school, paced on the other side of the roof.

"Don't worry, he'll show." Just then a flutter of cloth and a heavy body fell to the roof. "See?"

The Dark Knight stood at his full height and regarded the two men, wrapping his cape around his body to cut the frozen gusts of wind. "Gentlemen."

"Batman, I'd like to introduce you to-"

"Hiro."

"Bats."

Daisuke shrugged and scratched his head. "I guess you two know each other already. That brings us to the whole reason we're here"

"The Shark." Batman frowned as he thought of Touji Kuroda sipping white wine and sniffing coke in his safehouse somewhere in the city. Scarface had apparently tipped the kingpin off, Batman would have to pay him a visit later that night. "He wasn't at his penthouseI know, I checked."

"'The Shark'? The man's damn name is Touji Kuroda! We're talking about him like he's some sort of God! He's a fucking man! A man who thinks he's above the law!" Hiroshi looked up and met the white eyes of Batman. "Present company excluded."

"Calm down now , Hiroshi, yelling about it isn't going to help anything. Yes, Batman, The Shark has gone into hiding; that little stunt you pulled on Scarface Konbayashi was taken as a warning."

"It was. It's a pity Kuroda took the hint."

"I came here because I thought we were going to get The Shark, are we or not?" Hiroshi broke in, nervously running a hand through his hair.

Batman smiled and waved an address book with dates and times for delivery. "I procured this from Scarface's desk last night. It has all the scheduled dates for drug pick-ups, I leave that matter to you Hidachi." Daisuke took the thin book and flipped through the pages.

"This will certainly help. Now if we're going to take down The Shark I want you all to promise me that none of us will cross the line." Batman didn't move an inch as Hiroshi stepped closer.

"I'll agree to that! Anything to put Kuroda behind bars forever." Hiroshi shook Daisuke's hand and looked at Batman as he brooded by the edge of the roof. "Bats?" His voice seemed to break a spell cast over Batman and he turned quickly to the two men and walked back, taking both their hands in his.

"Agreed." The next moment he was gone.

"Where?" Hiro looked at the building all around them for any sign that the Batman had been there standing with them.

"He has a habit of doing that." Hidachi replied dryly.

"Do you think he'll keep his end of the agreement? The guy wears spandex for Christ's sake!"

"Don't worry about the Batman, Hiro, he won't cross the line. I believe in Batman."

---

She was there the entire time, watching our exchange through her binoculars and listening with her microphone, yet she had to have known I would see her from the roof. Why had she done something so stupid? Was it just an accident or did she purposely goad me into this meeting?

"This is the second time I've caught you spying on me." She pulled her earphones off and turned to me languidly, a satisfied smirk broke her face. "Why?" She stalks closer to me with her hands behind her back.

"Hmmwhat a question! Why doesn't the master detective find the answer for himself?" She leans in closer to me, I can smell the musk of her sweat and a faint hint of perfume under the jumpsuit. Her breasts push against my chest and I can feel her nipples stiffen as she rests her head on my shoulder. "Like why I'm doing this?" I grab her wrists.

"Enough with twenty questions, why are you spying on me? How come wherever I am you appear?" She wraps her leg around my thigh, pressing the moistened crotch of her Lycra suit against mine. She gasps and smiles smugly.

"I think you just answered your own question, 'Bats', see you around." She breaks from my grip and leaps to the roof's edge, blowing me a kiss before she plummets down to the city streets below. I rush to catch her but see only empty air. Catwoman has escaped once again.

On the wind I can hear a woman's soft lilting laugh.

---To be continued?---


	7. Dark Knight 2

(Note: I have no idea how the Japanese police system is, so any titles like captain or commissioner may be incorrect, but what the hell do I care?)

"I can't give in to the fear.

I can't let this world beat me.

I will avenge her.

I must train. 

I'm stronger.

I'm faster.

I'm smarter.

I shall have my revenge."

Graffiti scrawled in the basement of Furinkan High School

---

The night embraces me. The buildings wrap around to encircle me. The rain is a baptism, beating against my chest. I swing into the night, I run up a building, I protect my city - I live the darkness. Scarface thinks he's untouchable, he thinks he owns this town. Well, I suppose everyone's free to believe what they like but tonight he's going to have the truth staring him in the face.

---

Scarface Konbayashi rolled himself into the bedroom and slammed the door shut on his goons. His groin was thankfully numb due to a heavy dose of local anesthetic but he still could feel the strange slippery shifting of the new silicone testicles between his legs. Since being released from the hospital he'd had his flat redesigned to accommodate his new handicapped status at least for a little while.

"Hello there, Scarface." A lithe figure stood in front of his windows, the moonlight splashing in casting the figure's features in shadow. "Enjoying yourself?"

"Who the fuck are you?" Scarface raged impotently from the confines of his chair. "Get the fuck out of here!"

"Hmm" The woman swiped a long gloved talon down her cheek, craning her neck upward in thought. "Now where have I heard that before? Oh yes, it was before Batman crushed your balls, right?"

"What's it to you, bitch?" Scarface pulled a gun from his jacket and pointed it threateningly at his intruder. "Why don't you just jump out that window behind ya and maybe I won't unload this in your face."

"A pity you won't be 'unloading' anything else in a girl's face again, right?" She posed suggestively and stepped back closer to the balcony.

Konbayashi growled low and fired his weapon at her face, the bullets tearing through the muslin behind her as the agile female leapt away and over him, landing lightly on the balls of her feet. Cold thin fingers wrapped around his throat as she leaned down so that her breasts rested heavily on the top of his skull. Scarface began to sweat.

---

I decide to let him have a little slice of heaven before I kill him so I dangle my rather generous assets before his eyes as my gloved hands message the veins in his neck. I can feel the rapid pulse of his heart with each breath he takes, he's licking his lips as the skintight material of my costume shows the raised area of my nipples.

"I hear you were the one who called the hit on Akane Tendo and the Saotomes, am I right?" I whisper the words into his ear and lick the beads of sweat from behind, savoring the taste of his fear. I think that my first kill deserves a bit of respect.

"I didn't do nothing! All I did was do what the Don said!" My grip tightens until his face fills with blood, he's beginning to turn a delicious blue. "I swear!"

"Tsk, tsk, Kon-chan. Didn't anybody ever tell you that isn't a good enough excuse?" I run my hand down his clothes until his lies over his crotch. As much as the thought repulses me, this is the best way to exact revenge. A slip my hand into his pants and under his boxers; my talons lightly scrape against his scrotum. "Why did the Don order the hit?"

"I don't know, I don't know! All he said was that the little slut should die, the other two were just there at the wrong time."

"And the rape?" I pop two of his stitches, it will be unbearably painful when the anesthetic wears off, if he survives that long. He doesn't notice.

"The Don said we could have some fun with the cunt." I can hear the shuffling of his hired hands behind the door, good thing I have him by the balls.

"You and I are going to have some fun now but if you call for help our fun will end." I twist his head until the open balcony doors are fully in his vision. His eyes go wide. "Twenty stories down, understood?" He nods his head. It's a good thing he can't see me smile like a school girl in an ice cream shop.

I wheel his trembling body out onto the balcony and rip off the iron railing I'd already unscrewed before he arrived. With the railing gone there's nothing to stop me from pushing him over the edge and listening to his cry as the cement rises up to meet him. No, no! I have something better planned

"Wha-what are you going to do?"

"You'll see, Kon-chan." I lock the back wheels of his wheelchair and shove the immobile man up to the very lip of the balcony. The little front wheels are just sitting an inch away from the edge, one wrong move or twitch on Scarface's part and down his goes. No sooner have I settled him then I pick up the bag of money and jewels and waggle my finger at him. "Now then, Kon-chan, I'll be going now with the contents of your safe please don't hesitate to call for help once I'm gone but I have to warn you, one wrong move and you fall all the way down. Ja ne!" I leap from beside him with the backpack of goods and freefall down to the telephone line nine stories below.

I try not to smile as his horse cries for help echo behind me.

---

"Why did you do that?" A masculine voice spoke from the shadows of the rooftop she was resting on. The building was four blocks away from Scarface's apartment and Catwoman thought it would be a prime place to count the cash she'd looted from Konbayashi's archaic safe, honestly it was no challenge - why didn't big mob honchos have computerized locks?

"Well, well, 'Bats' what brings you to my neck of the woods?" Catwoman stared at the black cloaked figure that stepped from the darkness of the air-conditioning vent, seemingly vomited from the shadows.

"Scarface. Why did you do that to him? He could have died."

"What do I care if he dies, he deserves it after all the things he's done." She tried not to let her voice quiver with sentimentality, it wouldn't do for Batman to have a clue as to her true identity. "Besides, his goons pulled him back in, no harm done."

"That's not the point." He walked at her, his boots rapping against the pitted concrete of the Sanyo building, and grasped her shoulders in both hands. She allowed herself to be pulled towards him and wrapped her leg around his thigh, urging him closer. "Stealing from him is fine, risking his life is not. I need him alive so he can tell me where the Shark isyou are either helping me or" He left the statement unfinished.

"Intriguingwhy are you so hot to get the Shark?"

"Whose side are you on, Catwoman?"

"I won't tell!" Catwoman scratched him lightly on the cheek with a talon before breaking from his grip and leaping down the edge of the building, springing herself through a neon sign on her way down. Batman watched her disappear into the night with her bag of stolen goods and sighed.

Another chance wasted.

---

I stretch and yawn as the sun rises, blinding me momentarily as I stand and cross to my desk. I'm not really one for pajamas, I usually sleep in the nude, but for Ranma's piece of mind I throw on a short vacuum-formed shirt which hugs my curve nicely. I noticed the way he's been eyeing me since I came home. I decide to bait him a little more.

Kasumi is already up and about when I arrive in the kitchen, doting on Ranma as he eats. My older sister has changed over the two years since Akane's death and father's incarceration, she seems more tight-lipped and far less trusting. I guess it's to be expected. I almost puke when she brushes a stray bit of food from his face. They should get a room

"Good morning, Ranma."

"Morning, Nabiki." He was already dressed in a black business suit with a stylized stallion pin through his red tie. "Have you thought about my offer?"

"Yes, and I still have to think about it, I really don't feel right moving into your house."

"It's more your house than mine, I've just been the caretaker for these two years." Ranma sipped at a cup of coffee as Kasumi served my breakfast. It was surreal having Kasumi actually playing the servant role with such conviction, something had to be going on under my nose and I plan on figuring out what.


End file.
